The Geezer Triangle of Daily Needs: Sex▲ Sustenance▲ Sports

Volume: Load and Clear
Issue: I Can’t Get No Satisfaction!
Date: October 15, 2021

“I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.”
—Rodney Dangerfield

The Geezer Triangle
of Daily Needs: Sex▲ Sustenance▲ Sports

Geometry can describe many situations. The ancient Greeks appreciated the beauty of The Golden Rectangle, natural proportions pleasing to the eye. There are legends about The Bermuda Triangle, where boats and planes appear to disappear. And, since time immemorial, the needs of the Aging Human Male Species is geometrically described as The Geezer Triangle: Sex▲Sustenance▲Sports.

The Geezer Triangle is an equilateral triangle, all sides being equal in a day in the life of an aging man.

Sex: Whatever turns someone on and gets someone off.
Desired Frequency: Once a day minimum, in real life or fantasy life or virtual life, that is, while watching any electronic device.

Sustenance: Any food that is found in the kitchen, preferably food that has “Chili",” “Nachos,” or “BBQ” on the label, and/or any drink that has sat in an old wooden container to ripen with age in order to help the aged ripen.
Desired Frequency: Three meals a day, plus snacks, especially snacks while indulging in the other two sides of The Geezer Triangle: sweet gooey snacks like whipped cream and chocolate sauce during gymnastic sex or spicy, crunchy snacks while watching TV sports with booby cheerleaders.

Sports: Anyone moving any object toward anything with anything, often with one person trying to best another person doing that thing. This is a catch-all definition that encompasses every sport from baseball to foosball, and even bridge and hot-dog-eating contests!
Expanded definite of sports: Any consuming passion that brings pleasure within its own activity, such as music, cards, video games, coins, knitting, astronomy, hiking, daydreaming about winning the lottery…whatever floats an aging boat, including owning an aging boat.
Desired Frequency: It’s always sports time somewhere in the world, either the live game itself or the endless recaps or the the rating of the recaps, ad infinitum!

Pleasures are simple for an Aging Human Male. Just three sides to The Geezer Triangle to make for a complete and satisfying day, a dream day, or a daydream of a day!

In contrast, the geometry of needs for a Geezess (an Aging Human Female; pronounced with a “hard g” like the first “g” in gorgeous”) can be described as a complex but sparkling Dame Diamond: BODS, PODS, Feelings, and Healings.

Stay tuned to the next newsletter to see more about the Dame Diamond and what happens when the simple Geezer Triangle of Daily Needs meets with the Dame Diamond of Daily Needs. Sparkles? Or sparks?

With sass and compassion and everything in between,

Irene